Here's a rough transcript!

Hannah: Welcome to "Between Iraq and a Hard Place". I'm Hannah.

Colleen: And I'm Colleen!

Hannah: And we're going to tell you about our life in Iraq.

Colleen: It's going to be fun!

Hannah: I hope so.

Colleen: All right. So today we get to talk to our office manager and so much more.

Hannah: Yeah, like office mom. I'm pretty sure we all might die if she wasn't here.

Colleen: This is Kim. We can say her name, Kim.

Hannah: Yes. You may know her from some midway breaks in the past.

Colleen: Yeah.

Hannah: She's the one that wants some of your money.

Hannah: But I think this is going to be a fun, fun one, because the goal today is just to have Kim tell stories. And Kim tells the best stories. I'm not sure if it's because her life is, like, crazy.

Kim: Yeah, usually, yeah.

Colleen: But I think there's also some actual, like, storytelling skill that you bring to your stories that just make them so much funnier.

Kim: Well, my husband says they get way too long, so I'll try to keep them short.

Colleen: No, no, no, no. We love your stories.

Hannah: You can get a two episode arc, that's fine!

Kim: Two episodes! It might happen.

Hannah: So, Kim, why don't you tell us how you got started with Servant Group?

Kim: Well, my husband and I were planning on going overseas to work with Kurds, and it just was not moving at the pace that we had hoped or thought that God would move that way. So someone told us about the Kurds coming to Nashville and a group called Servant Group that worked here among Kurds. So we decided, hey, we should check it out. And within six months we were here.

Colleen: How long ag was that?

Kim: Twenty five years.

Colleen: Yeah!

Kim: Twenty five years ago.

Hannah: And you moved from?

Kim: Atlanta, Georgia. But yes, we went to college in South Carolina. So we've been here ever since. I mean, we really thought that we would go overseas and live many years working among Kurds overseas. But those doors just did not open and God led us here. And this is where it seems he's kept us. So that's where we are, doing ministry here.

Hannah: But you did live in Iraq for like six months?

Kim: We did for five months. The plan was to be there six months until the flood in Nashville happened. And that brought us back a month early since our house flooded.

Hannah: And you have good stories about that! I mean, I know you live with the Winchesters. So, people have been listening to this podcast know of Katrina Winchester.

Kim: Oh, OK.

Hannah: We talked about going shopping.

Kim: OK.

Hannah: Which was a good topic for her.

Kim: Yes.

Hannah: So they know a little bit. So don't don't say anything bad.

Kim: OK, well, we did enjoy our time there with Winchesters mixing her two daughters and our son in the same house, but separate separate levels, floors. You know, there's always those kid things. And, you know, we had the boy, they had the girls. And, you know, sometimes they'd say, did you know your son is out walking on top of the wall and putting mud on the light? And I'm like, yeah, I mean, he's a boy. So anyways, but for the most part, they had a great time together and it was a good time. So I think one of the funniest memories that we have living in that house together is there was a shared washer and dryer area and we had a brand new washer and dryer.

Hannah: Fancy!

Kim: And it was really nice until we started washing. And every time the washing machine got to the spin cycle, it would shake like in an unreal way. Like if you've ever seen a cartoon with a washing machine walking across the floor, that's what this one did. I mean, really, it absolutely turned around backwards, sometimes. It would shake so hard. And we were we would start screaming and trying to figure out what are we going to do and all this kind of stuff. So we finally figured out that there was a certain cycle, which was the spin and rinse cycle, that it would do most of its crazy things. So we took turns whenever somebody washed clothes and it got to the spin cycle, you had to run downstairs and jump on top of the washing machine.

Hannah: Like arms and legs hugging it?

Kim: Yeah. I mean, sometimes we would just lay on it and hold it and other times we would jump on the top of it and sit there till it finished its cycle. Really, and it would shake you like crazy. Like we would sit there and say funny things and try and sing a song, because it would make our voice shake and everything, and you would sit there and it seemed like it was a 20 minute cycle and I know it wasn't. But you just I mean, day after day when we'd wash clothes, that's what we would do, is who's going to sit on the washing machine? And so that really went on for months. And then one day the washing machine would not work. So Kinley and Steve loaded it up on, I don't know, somebody's truck. Somehow they were able to get it to the store and they just kind of looked at Kinley and Steve and said, well, nobody took the bolt out of it, that's supposed to hold the thing in place when it's being transported.

Colleen: What!?

Kim: So there's a certain like there's a certain thing that it's supposed to, like, hold it so that it doesn't so that it doesn't spin correctly or whatever. And that's supposed to be removed when it's installed. But we didn't install it. It was there when we got there. So somebody didn't do what they were supposed to do. And that's why it was dancing all over the floor, I guess, because it was trying to spin and it really couldn't spin correctly. So that was a real joke. But anyway, so we really laugh about that.

Hannah: Did they take the bolt out?

Kim: They did.

Hannah: And it was fine?

Kim: And then it was fine! Yes. So but that really went on for several months before it broke and then, well, it didn't really break, but it quit working.

Hannah: So I feel like. Yeah, the perfect example of like well that's just the way things are here, I guess.

Kim: Yeah

Hannah: And so you're just like deal with it until somebody from their comes along and is like, this ain't right. This ain't right!

Kim: Yeah. Right. We just thought oh well I guess the floors and level I guess that this is how washing machines work here, who knows. But it was, we felt like it was cleaning our clothes so we just kept using it that way.

Hannah: Fair enough.

Kim: But it was very nice not to have to jump on it in the end.

Hannah: You didn't have to schedule who's turn it was to ride the washing machine?

Kim: Yeah, exactly.

Hannah: You could have sold tickets!

Kim: We could have! It was funny.

Colleen: You could have had like your own like YouTube channel with, you know, adventures on the washing machine.

Kim: That's true.

Colleen: You could have gone viral!

Kim: Well, we didn't think about it then. Yeah. So that was one of our funny ones for sure. We also had. You want me to go on with another one?

Colleen: Yeah!

Kim: We also had I think it was in the first two weeks of being there, you know, you don't put your toilet paper in the toilet. You have to have a trash can in your bathroom to put your toilet paper in. And everyone told us this and we knew this. And we'd already been in the country for at least a week in Istanbul. And things are done that way, too. So we were getting pretty used to that idea. But one day our toilet would not flush and started backing up and running over and we were like freaking out. And so we told, I guess, I don't know, we had somebody in charge that we would go to and they said, oh, you're putting toilet paper in. And we said, no, we're not. Yes, you must be. You must be. We're not. We're using the trash can like we're supposed to. We're not flushing toilet or toilet paper down the toilet. So then they ended up calling a plumber who came out who insisted that we were putting toilet paper in the toilet.

Colleen: Of course!

Kim: And we said, no, we're not. And they said, yes, this is the problem. So they spent an entire day trying to unclog our toilet, took the toilet out. I won't even describe the sewage that was coming out all into our house, into the tile floor everywhere. We couldn't even stand to be in there.

Hannah: Was it the first floor?

Kim: Yes, it was the first floor.

Hannah: So it wasn't like…

Kim: Yeah, I wasn't like running down the walls or anything, but it was… it was not pretty and it was not a nice smell. And they kept on and kept on and kept on trying to unclog this toilet. So about half the day was gone. And I thought, why don't they go out on the garage or in the carport area? And there was like some drainage hole or something out there. And I thought, why don't they go out there and see if that's clogged, like why they keep going into the toilet area. But no one ever thought to do that until the end of the night when they'd been there all day long. Then they guess they couldn't figure out why the toilet was backing up. So they went out to that. Drain in the garage. And guess what, they found!? Lots of construction, drywall, plaster that was stuck down in that hole. So there was no toilet paper anywhere, just the drywall stuff, plaster stuff from all the construction codes. It was a new building. And so things that had fallen down in there and clogged up.

Hannah: Was it just like random constructions like this fell in here? And so instead of when it went in here?

Kim: Yeah, probably.

Hannah: Or was it like, Let's throw this down.

Kim: No, I don't actually. Surely… a who… I don't know. Surely they didn't do that. Surely it was just let's spray the plaster stuff off the patio and it went down that drain and then it hardened, I guess. But that's what it was. And but we even had teachers and people at the school saying you cannot throw toilet paper in the toilets! And we're like, WE'RE NOT all day long. We told them, but they didn't believe us.

Hannah: Do you sing them your duty song?

Kim: So what happened after that is we continued to tell our children, the Winchester kids and our son, please do not put any toilet paper in the toilet. And they are all insisting, we're not. We're not. But what happened is we made up one rap and two songs about not putting toilet paper in the toilet. So we felt like if we could all remember the songs, then every time anybody went to the bathroom, we'd be singing them in our head, not to put toilet paper in the toilet.

Hannah: Are you going to share? At least share the lyrics!

Kim: I wish I could remember all the lyrics.

Hannah: The only line I know is do your duty, do your duty, duty.

Kim: When you wipe your booty, toss it in the can. Take it like a man. Yeah, something like that.

Hannah: Who came up with these?

Kim: OK, well actually Steve wrote his own. Camden and I are the ones that wrote the rap and then the Winchesters did one together and they really have a hard time because I've asked them since then and they cannot remember it, but it had something to do with the tune of "Be Our Guest." Yeah, it went to that tune, but I don't remember the words.

Hannah: Oh yeah. How old was Camden when you guys moved there?

Kim: Camden was ten.

Hannah: Ten, All right.

Kim: And Caroline hit as Katrina would say, she became a teenager and hit the teenager mood and all of the emotions that go with a teenager the day we arrived.

Hannah: Oh, fun!

Kim: So that was that was part of the thing that she used to say was, Oh, my word. I didn't know she was going to have all these teenager emotions and, you know, attitudes the day we arrived. Yeah.

Colleen: Hey, just to interrupt, if you really want to help us out, give us a review on Apple podcasts. Even if you don't use Apple podcast, the reviews there really help us get found by other people. So if you could do that for us, that would be great. Thanks.

Hannah: Camden is well known in the office because he caused a lot of ruckus as a kid.

Kim: Yes, he did.

Hannah: And as much as I would love to do a podcast just of Camden stories we are kind of focused on Iraq. So did he get any get into any shenanigans in Iraq?

Kim: Well, I think the biggest one was him, just in our opinion, he was our fifth child. So it was just like, yeah, you know, he's being a boy, just let him do stuff. So there was a construction site right next door to us, so he would go over there and climb up on walls and stuff like that. And one day we read the book How to Eat Fried Worms, and that's where the idea came from, to climb up on the wall and walk around the top edge of the wall and then smear dirt on the lamppost. Because I think somewhere in there they did put worms on the lamp post…

Hannah: To cook them?

Kim: To cook or something like that.

Hannah: Interesting.

Kim: So, you know..

Hannah: There are not a lot of worms in Iraq…

Kim: No, but the dirt worked, I guess.

Hannah: I guess.

Kim: I don't know. So anyways, when Kinley said, did you know your son's walking on the wall and putting dirt all over the lampposts? And he said it as if, why would your son do that? And I'm thinking because we just read how to eat fried worms, so no big deal.

Hannah: He didn't burn anything to the ground.

Kim: Yeah.

Colleen: He didn't break his arm.

Kim: Yeah, I don't remember. You know, he used to ask us over and over and over the whole time we were there, can we go home early? I mean, he really did great there. He made friends, there. He did fine in school. We home schooled. But he missed his siblings, I think. And he'd always say, can we go home early? And we'd say, no, we're not going home early. We are here for six months and then the flood happened. So, I mean, maybe the flood was because he wanted to go home.

Hannah: The flood was Camden's fault!

Kim: It was Camden's fault! Could have been!

Hannah: We'll let the people of Nashville know.

Kim: So we did get to go home early because of the flood. But I don't remember anything else.

Hannah: That was kind of its own adventure. Right.

Kim: Yeah.

Hannah: Like getting out out of Iraq.

Kim: Yeah. Yeah, because we had just bought our return tickets for a month later, literally, I think two days before the flood. So then we had to go in and have all of that changed and figure out how to get out of the country quickly. And, you know, we really didn't get to say goodbyes to people. And that was another funny story. I had second grade students that I was teaching. And so the morning that we got the news that our house had four and a half feet of water in it and we were talking to all of our kids on Facetime, our older kids that were home and in our house on Facetime. And they were saying, you know, they were showing us all the damage and all that kind of stuff. And we were upset. I was upset and crying. And I decided that I was still going to go teach my classes because they didn't happen till like noon or after. Yeah, right after lunch. So I thought, well, I've got time and I'll still go teach. Well, by the time I got to school, the news had spread all over the school that our house had been flooded and our oldest son had actually got caught in a current and almost, I mean, almost drowned, really, and was rescued on top of a bridge and all this kind of stuff, so some of this news had gotten out. So by the time I got to my class, my second graders were like, "Oh, miss, oh, miss. We heard, we heard about your house and and your son. He's he's dead!" And we're like, "NO! No, he's NOT DEAD!" "But your son. He flooded your house, has got water." And I said, "Yes, but my son did not die. He's fine." All the exaggerated stories that they had come up with from that morning until the time I saw them was hilarious, really. I don't even know that they understood what a flood was. But anyways, that was pretty funny.

Hannah: I made you feel like, "Well, I guess it could have been worse!"

Kim: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So that was that was quite an adventure, that whole thing having to come back home and then come to all of the mess that was here. But yeah. So I think the other funny story that I experienced when we actually traveled down to from Erbil to Suly one time and we were going to visit some family of friends that we already had here. And so they already knew of us. They knew we were coming. They knew that we were friends with their son. And so they were super excited about meeting us and we were excited about meeting them, too. So they had this you know, it was a beautiful summer, spring evening. So we were they had this whole outside area set up with tables and chairs and they were cooking and we were going to have a big feast. And so we arrive.

Hannah: Are these Kurds?

Kim: Yes. Yes. So we arrive and we go into their little yard garden area where we're going to spend the evening. And her mom comes up to me and gives me the biggest hug and starts the kissing on the cheek. Well, I was pretty new to all this as far as that goes, but I had learned that sometimes you get two kisses and sometimes you get three kisses and occasionally you get four. So we did the three kisses on each cheek to cheek to cheek, and I thought she was coming back in for a fourth one and she maybe was going to hug me, I don't know. But we ended up kissing lip to lip and she screamed and I screamed. And we were so surprised because it was just like, I don't know what her intent was, but she wasn't planning on kissing or whatever. But yeah, we kissed lip to lip and it was like, whoa, HI! So that was funny.

Hannah: Oh man. I know. So, because I lived in the house that you lived in. Oh yeah. Like summer.

Kim: Right.

Hannah: I know the neighbors next door really missed you.

Kim: Oh.

Hannah: Because they only spoke Kurdish and so like super impressed with Steve. Yes. And they asked about you all the time. But I also know that like some of your interactions with them were a little odd.

Kim: Yes.

Colleen: Even by Kurdish standards.

Kim: Yes.

Colleen: What??

Kim: Yeah, that was the man next door who was older than us. They were so friendly. And yes, Steve could communicate with them in Kurdish. And so they invited us over and, you know, they're showing us their house a little bit. But he was all excited to take all of us, not just the men, not just Steve and Kinley, but all of us down to his basement to show us his workout room. And he had exercise equipment and all this kind of stuff where he worked out. And every day, every day. And he's telling Steve and Kinley, you know, I do this, I do this, I do ten of this and fifteen of this. And we were just all interacting saying, wow, like, that's great. All of a sudden, he rips his shirt off, he takes his shirt completely off to his bare chest and starts showing us how he uses his machines. And we were all so shocked because that would not be normal Kurdish culture, especially in front of us ladies.

Colleen: Yeah!

Kim: So the men would have been shocked. But the fact that we were down there was even more shocking that he did that. That was pretty funny.

Hannah: Look at how strong I am!!

Kim: Oh, yeah. That's kind of what it was. It's like let me show you my muscles and let you see how strong I am. It was a funny one.

Hannah: Yeah. Yeah. They, they used to come to me when I lived there. The wife would come and knock on the door and be like, "Where's the guy that speaks Kurdish?" She didn't say it in English, right? Where's the Kurdish man? Yeah, I'm like, I don't know, I'm sorry. We're not Steve. Yes. Yeah, they missed him. And you guys came and visit visited us while we lived there.

Kim: Yeah, we did.

Hannah: I think you've got to. Yeah, I think he did explain to them who we were.

Kim: Yeah. A year after the flood, we decided we really wanted to go back to not only see people but to see our students because we had to leave so abruptly and we really didn't get to properly say goodbye or enjoyed our time here or anything like that. So we did go back.

Hannah: And you taught 2nd grade… what subject?

Kim: Math.

Hannah: You taught math?

Kim: I did!

Hannah: Not that you're not able to. But, I would not be able to teach math.

Kim: Yeah. Second grade math. Well, that reminds me of another funny story, because I was we were working on story problems and I was trying to teach the kids, how does this story problem tell us that we should add these numbers or should we subtract these numbers, you know, in the story problem, trying to understand how to do the work. And so one day I was trying to get them to understand the story, and it was actually in the book. I didn't make it up. And it was, you know, two children put their feet in the water. How many toes are in the water? OK, something to that effect.

Colleen: All right.

Kim: So I'm thinking two children that each have ten toes, so ten and ten is 20. And I read the story in these kids all looked at me like, what are you talking about? And I said, how many toes are in the pool? In the water? They're shaking their head, Miss, we don't know. And I said, listen to the story again. I probably read it four times. I probably read it four times and kept asking them how many toes are in the water. They said, Miss, we don't know. So I took off my shoe and I wiggled my toes and I said "Toes". And all of a sudden I said, Do you call these toes? They said, No, Miss, they're foot fingers. That's what they told me. I was like, oh, okay. I'm like, well, how many foot fingers are in the water? 20 Miss, 20 foot fingers.

Hannah: No!

Kim: Yeah, that's what they told me.

Hannah: That's a thing that never I have never heard anyone call them foot fingers.

Kim: That's what they said.

Hannah: Well I guess we don't really talk about feet much.

Kim: Yeah. Oh they laughed when I took my shoe off. And I know that's probably not a good Kurdish culture thing, but I'm trying to give these second graders to understand toes. I said in America, we call these toes, fingers and toes. But no, they said no, Miss, foot fingers. And I thought, well, I guess that makes sense. If these are fingers, those are foot fingers. But yes, I didn't really have much trouble teaching second grade math. Now, if they'd asked me to teach fifth grade or sixth grade or if they asked me to teach the new way of teaching math in America, I would say no, because I don't understand how to do it.

Hannah: As usual, full of great stories.

Colleen: Even new ones, the ones that I haven't heard before. That's special!

Kim: Was that a new one the foot finger story? All right, there you go.

Hannah: It's a good one.

Colleen: You can find something funny in your life today and write us a story about it. Yeah.

Hannah: Or like weird interactions that you've had with kids that are like. "What what what are you even talking about?" Like the foot finger… I can't get over that! You know kids call like things, weird stuff, because I feel like a lot of kids as they are learning words just like try to put things together and it comes out weird some way sometimes.

Kim: My oldest son, when we were trying to teach him to put on his own shoes and to tie them or do the Velcro strap, we have no idea where he came up with this, but what we refer to as the tongue in the shoe, he called the floonaflorn for a long time. Pull the floonaflorn up. I never could figure out, like, where did you even create that word? But it was the floonaflorn.

Colleen: All right. Share us your stories.

Hannah: Your floonaflorn stories!

Colleen: We'd love to hear from you. You can find us at Seven Group International on Facebook or Instagram. And you should check out our blog and complete transcripts over at ServantGroup.org.

Hannah: And it's really helpful for us if you share our podcast or leave a review on whatever platform you listen to this podcast on, it helps us know that people are listening and you can let us know what you want to hear next.

Both: Thanks for listening.

Hannah: And it's fine just an avalanche!

Colleen: Hannah is going to have a lot of editing to do.